Dear Uncle,
Your influence on my life has been great
Introducing me to Jazz, soul and those funky hip hop breaks
You let me see the music on MTV heaven
And you took me to see Star Wars in 1977
I love the way you walk, the way you talk, you’re so trendy!
And if I got caught, without a thought you would defend me
Uncle I appreciate every one of your presents
But you’ve really changed since September 11th
Now though, you’re paro cos an arrow pointed at you
So bigger funds for bigger guns, but why would I attack you?
It used to be easier to see ya back in the day
Now you want my Visa, fingerprints and DNA
Referring to your music, not I forget to listen
With your sex addiction and violent repetition
Your violent repetition on every celluloid
Making your family, friends and relatives paranoid
And who is this incestuous cupid
Stop sleeping with my mum, ‘cos love has turned her stupid
“I think so, yes. But in response to the Right Honourable gentleman’s question, I think the most important thing was that I was very careful in my statement to make it clear what we were, and were not saying. I think it is just important to emphasise this point. The purpose of the dossier was to respond to the call to disclose the intelligence that we knew, but at that stage the strategy was not to use the dossier as the immediate reason for going to conflict, but as the reason why we had the issue of Saddam and Weapons of Mass Destruction preferably, as I said earlier, through the united nations.” *
I was not informed that the deployment referred solely to battlefield weaponry, because the morning this intelligence was revealed, I was uncontactable. I was busy opening a high interest account for my sons tuition fees. Besides, the British people are fully aware that a lot can happen in 45 minutes...look at Tottenham Hotspurs versus Manchester City. I rest my case!
I know she only sleeps with you cos you’re rich
But that’s no excuse to treat her like a prostitute bitch
Everyone knows this is hopeless and out of focus
Asking me why my uncle is so Islamophobic
I say,"I don’t know shit!”
Mainly cos I won’t deliberately expose it
Like Janet Jackson’s whole tit!
That’s only half the story
You let your children die so you can bask in glory.
Written and performed by Jonzi D - February 10th 2004
Copywright © 2004 Jonzi D
* This paragraph was taken from the minutes of the Hutton Enquiry which can be found here.